Word

Day 7 – It is now the last day of the first month of 2016 and the word that can describe me is INCOMPLETE. My writers’ group on Facebook was asked last week what one word would describe us for the month and then challenged us to write about it. Well, there it is. Incomplete.

It seemed that everything I touched in any way did not get finished. My sister’s Christmas gifts are still in the sewing room. Incomplete. As are several of the small projects I had cut out to sew while I was watching Christmas movies. Then I thought I could just whip those out during January while I was watching my favorite oldie reruns. Nope. Incomplete they are as well.

The challenge I took up to write 500 words everyday for 30 days has been a bust. This is supposed to be Day 7 if I am to stick with the number of days I have been involved in the plan. Not only have they not been 500 words, I haven’t written every day. So that assignment has been…Incomplete.

I would even settle for inconsistent, at least that meant I had been making some effort in some areas, but no, to be honest, I can’t even claim that word. My goals for the year – incomplete. I don’t even have a bucket list – my bucket has so many holes in it, whatever might be on a list wouldn’t last a minute in it.

So what gives, huh? The only thing I’ve been good at all month is sleeping. Morgan and I have been great nap-mates (she is my Maine Coon, for those of you who haven’t read other posts). I’ve managed to gain weight, gone gray, and acquire trigeminal neuralgia since the first weekend of January. It was a great New Year’s let me tell ya! I don’t know if it’s the medication or what, but my hands have begun to twitch intermittently, so doing anything that requires any kind of steadiness has been a challenge.

If I were a Fortran test sheet in high school, I would be incomplete. There wouldn’t even be erasure marks on me. My answers would have just been skipped. Test returned as incomplete. I’m hoping for a do-over, but February isn’t lining up to look any better. I worked on my personal calendar today and I’m already so booked, there are few white spaces left. And it’s not like I’m really that busy. I’m just going to have to give up sleep, I guess. How else can I fit in the things on my “to do” list that I haven’t gotten to yet? Even that is incomplete!

Morgan has just placed herself in front of me, actually between me and the keyboard. That means serious business. She has a few things to add here. She is quite the typist. Oh, you are actually in luck. She just jumped down and is searching out something to do. She wants us to go to bed. It is way over our time to be working in here.

The wind is howling outside. I love the wind as long as I don’t have to be in it. But that doesn’t help me here. I told my husband that I felt really empty from my incompleteness. January is an off month for me, but I don’t recall that I’ve ever been in this kind of rut before. Since I’m a glass half full kinda gal, I’m going to end this on a positive note with the thought that tomorrow is a new day in a new month and I can only pray that it will be a darn sight better than January was for me. I’m going to continue on with my 500 word a day  challenge. By the way, I’ve hit over 600 words here, just thought you should know. I’m going to see what I can do about my darned schedule to make it better. There are things I should be doing that I haven’t been and things I have been doing that I could put on the back burner, so that’s something. It’s a matter of priorities. Always.

I just don’t like this feeling or even the word so much. Incomplete. Where is my eraser?